HMOs,
the new nasties
Ever
since the collapse of Communism, Hollywood has been searching
for villains. For a while it looked as if South Africans
might fit the bill, but then apartheid collapsed. There
was a brief fashion for demonising the English, as in
Braveheart, in which the English army rapes and
pillages its way across Scotland, and the Die Hard
films in which English actors play East German terrorists
in pursuit of Bruce Willis.
But then there was always Hugh Grant in the wings, to
prove that the English are just a bunch of charming fops
after all...when all else fails, space aliens and giant
lizards can be quite useful. But their appeal seldom extends
to people with a mental age above ten.
At last
however, Hollywood has solved the problem. Health Maintenance
Organisations (HMOs) are in many ways like Communism.
They are designed by pointy headed intellectuals. They
are manned by a Kafkaesque bureaucracy. And they reduce
individual freedom in the name of the greatest good of
the greatest number. In one way they are even better than
Communism; they directly touch the lives of at least half
the American population...
The most gripping demolition of HMOs occurs in As Good
As It Gets, about the relationship between a waitress
and a highly neurotic writer. The waitress has to take
time off work because her son is suffering from a terrible
respiratory disease. The writer is so determined that
his daily routine should not be disturbed that he pays
for an old fashioned doctor to examine her son. The doctor
is appalled to learn that the boy has been denied an essential
test because it is not "covered by her plan".
"Fucking HMO bastard pieces of shit" she exclaims,
to spontaneous applause in cinemas across the land. When
she apologises for her language, the doctor tells her
to think nothing of it,
... " Actually, I think that's their technical name."
